Broken Dreams In A Broken Moon
by 434-Innocent-Flicker
Summary: Remus Lupin mourns the death of his love, Sirius Black.


When Sirius dies, the one who knew him best laments about the past. I do not own Sirius Black, buckbeak the Hippogriff, Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, ect ect. All of that belongs to J.K. Rowling.

**Broken Dreams In A Broken Moon**

The doors to Number 12 Grimmauld Place opened silently. The figure who entered the threshold was silent, partially due to the portrait of Sirius Black's mother, which shrieked when she heard a noise. But the figure was mostly silent from grief.

The kitchen door opened and in stepped Remus John Lupin. His face looked more weary than it normally did. His grey eyes were red and looked a bit puffy, like he had been crying. His hands shook as he walked through the house. He could see why Sirius hated it. It looked so fore-boding and evil.

He entered the living room, looking at all the ornaments, all bearing the Black family crest. He nearly laughed. Sirius use to play hacky-sack with the silver goblets when Lupin came by for Order business. He shook his head, he was laughing? He was mad.

Up the stairs, Lupin walked, the dusty stairs creaking under his weight.

_Sirius and Lupin were scrambling up the stairs of Hogwarts._

_"C'mon, Mooney, you fat old werewolf!" Sirius laughed with a slight bark. "You gonna let some pup beat you?"_

Lupin seemed to snap back to reality. What was he thinking? Now wasn't the time. He was sure.

Lupin entered Sirius' bedroom and looked around. A bare bed, a blank portrait, a plain desk lined the room, leaving a huge space in the center. The floor was scuffed with shoe marks, showing what Sirius did up here, train, perhaps?

_"Sirius, stop jumping on the beds, already!" Lupin demanded. "I _am _a prefect, you know!"_

_"Ah, you're such a prune, Mooney!" Sirius said, flopping on the bed once, landing on his rear. His voice went to a screechy reprimanding tone. "SIrius, stop jumping on the bed! Sirius, quit teasing those first years! Sirius, quit having a personality and be a mindless drone!"_

_Lupin rolled his eyes._

_"Fine, jump around and crack your skull open!" he huffed, returning to his book._

Lupin had to choke back his chuckles. Honestly, in those days, was he Sirius' friend or mother?

"Damn it, where is that boy?"

Lupin looked up to the blank portrait to see a rather flushed Phineas Nigellus.

"Have you seen Sirius?" Phineas asked almost feverishly.

Lupin was silent. Phineas didn't know...

"Ugh, that boy's catching Hell from me when I find him..." Phineas muttered and left the portrait.

Lupin sighed and walked over to the bed. When he sat down, he felt somethignn under the sheets, something hard and flat, like a book. He reached under and pulled out a small diary.

_**Journal-**_

_**Well, I'm still stuck in this house. It sucks, but what can you do when Dumbledore tells you to stay put? At least Mooney comes by, it's better than Snively's visits. Buckbeak keeps scratching the floors, so I'm catching Hell from Molly. Probably wants to dull his claws. Hagrid's kill her if he heard.**_

_**Journal-**_

_**I swear, I'm gonna punch old Snivellus in that giant beak of his. Says I'm scared to leave the house, well, this is the man who stares into cauldrons all day. Maybe he'll fall in one. I mustn't get my hopes up, though. Kreacher keeps following me and staring at Harry. Makes me feel weird.**_

_**Journal-**_

_**I found an old photo album today. Made me smile, I miss Remus' long hair, it was fun to put it in pigtails when he was sleeping. A shame he cut it, I always told him he was such a pretty girl with it long. I miss James. I mean, Harry's amazing to have around, but it's not like Prongs in a tiny body or anything. Oh well.**_

_**Journal-**_

_**Mooney's not coming by as much anymore. So now all I can talk to is godamm Snivellus. Like he's a great conversation. I really wanna shave him bald or something. I'd have to wash it five times though. Greasy git.**_

_**Journal-**_

_**I'M GOING CRAZY! I need air! Sunlight! SOMETHING! Maybe Harry'll take me for a walk. That's what Prongs did a lot on Summer break. Mooney'd put the leash on me, it was great.**_

The last entry was just a picture. It was of the Marauders in their last year, with Lily Evans beside James. They were laughing and, sure enough, Lupin had pig tails. Below it was scrawled: **_I miss those days..._**

Lupin choked back a sob, he missed them too. He stood and clutched the diary close to him. He walked down the hall, not surprised to hear the shuffling on the hippogriff, Buckbeak, in a nearby room.

_Sirius, Lupin, and James headed down to the Great Hall._

_"I wonder what were having today?" Lupin asked._

_"Grilled hippogriff," Sirius laughed. "Like the one in that book you were reading."_

_"Sirius, come on!" Lupin cried. "We are _not

_"Yeah, we are, I saw the house elves bringing it in," James said, playing along with Sirius._

_Lupin just rolled his grey eyes._

_Peter came down to them, panting._

_"Sorry, I'm late!" he said. "What's for dinner? I could eat a hippogriff!"_

This time Lupin did laugh. He laughed hard, but his eyes sparkled with tears. It wasn't fair. Why did Sirius leave? Why did he leave and abandon everyone? He left Harry, he left the Order, he left Lupin...

"You were gone so long...and now your gone again?" Lupin asked the empty air in front of him. "That's low, Padfoot, you should know better..." He fell to his knees.

His sobs attracted Buckbeak, who walked out of the bedroom and approached Lupin. Perhaps, as they sensed respect, hippogriffs also could sense grief? His cool beak nuzzled Lupin's face and the werewolf buried his face in Buckbeak's plumage and cried.

"Lupin..."

Buckbeak and the thouroughly distressed Lupin looked up.

It was Severus Snape.

"I can understand that you are suffering," Snape said. "But you have to leave. The hippogriff, too."

Snape sank into a low bow, and Buckbeak merely inclinded his head. This human had interupted the werewolf's mourning, but for good reason. It was the reason alone that earned the creature's trust.

Lupin stood and walked over to Snape, the hippogriff following in his wake.

He then collapsed into Snape's arms.

"Severus, please, tell me its not true, oh please, tell me Sirius is just missing..." he said convulsively.

Snape was frozen to the spot, he didn't know how to react.

"Lupin, if I lied and said he was missing, you'd never get over the loss," he said firmly, hoisted Lupin to his feet. "I'm sorry, Lupin, but get a grip. Sirius is dead. He's not coming back, the only thing you can do is remember the good times you had with him."

Lupin was shaking, but he nodded slightly. Snape was right. Cruel and harsh...but right.

_"Remus, you've been awfully quiet lately," Sirius said as the two boys lay in their beds._

_"Sirius...do you ever wonder what would happen if I died?" Lupin asked._

_Sirius sat up._

_"Mooney, if you died," Sirius began. "I'd ressurect you and kill you. You aren't leaving us any time soon."_

_"I'm serious," Lupin said. "I mean, if my 'problem' gets out of control and I died..."_

_"Mooney," Sirius interrupted, getting out of his bed to sit on Lupin's. "I'd know better than to waste my time tearing myself open with it."_

_"What do you mean?" Lupin asked. _

_"Simple," Sirius sid. "If I died, I wouldn't want you going to whole nine yards to mourn. I'd want you to remember me now, rather than then. I mean, come on, Mooney. A corpse isn't gonna make you laugh, or tell you you're normal, or even tell James to deflate that big-ass head of his."_

_Lupin smiled, chuckling slightly and was wrapped in Sirius' arms for a hug._

_"Remember what you told that first year when his dog died?" he asked._

_Lupin nodded._

_"Those that we love are immortal as long as we think about them..." Lupin said, his voice muffled by Sirius' shoulder._

_"So, if you think about me and I think about you if one of us dies," Sirius said. "Then we're immortal, right?"_

"...right..." Lupin said softly.

"What did you say?" Snape asked over his shoulder as they left Number 12 Grimmauld Place.

"Nothing, Severus," Lupin said as they left the house and stepped into the warm afternoon sun.

**The End**


End file.
